Day 5 – PK & I are not one!!

Since last year, I am not on talking terms with the in-laws but PK is. Of course he will talk with them, they are his parents. He regularly calls them every weekend. I don’t mind him calling them to check on their health and have general conversations. But when the topic changes to “TP and baby” I get very annoyed. Every weekend during their phone talks MIL has to inquire something about me –

“Did you guys went to the doctor after we last spoke? If you go, inform us”
“What does TP likes to eat? If she is eating spicy that means its a boy, if she likes to eat sweet that means its a girl”
“Has TP’s skin colour lightened?? If yes, this means you are having a boy. If TP’s complexion has darkened that means you are having a girl”
“Ask TP to drink coconut water every day, the baby’s complexion will be fair”
“Ask TP not to drink or eat anything cold, its very harmful for the baby”
“Ask TP not to wear any heels”
“What all foods TP is craving to eat?”
“In Australia, they will tell you if its a boy or a girl but you guys don’t ask. We don’t need to know”
“We don’t do any shopping for baby beforehand its not considered good” (indirectly asking us not to do any shopping for baby)
“I am having this intuition that you are having twins!!”
“You don’t know but babies just love me. Our neighbor’s baby runs behind me whenever she sees me, she is crazy for me!!”
“What date TP will go on maternity leave? For how long?”

MIL has considered 3rd date of every month as my pregnancy month completion date as we announced the news on 3rd date. On every 3rd date, she counts – “Ok.. so today 4th month completed, 5th started”

Last weekend, she said the same thing to PK. So now, 5th month completed and 6th started. (Its not correct actually, I am 5 months 2 weeks actually) PK said I dont know, we count in weeks. Ya, ya I know you count in weeks, but I am keeping the track properly in months – said MIL.

Then she asked – When is TP’s Mum coming to Australia? Her whole family is coming or only her Mum? PK said – I don’t know, we will see (“I dont know” is best reply PK gives to her never ending questions). MIL – “How come you dont know yet??” Her tone was like PK knows but he is hiding from them. PK told them that we will check with doctor and let TP’s parents know. MIL – “Ya they will have to buy tickets and do their visa work so decide soon”

Seriously, sometimes all this is too much for me. Why is she taking tension for my parents visa and tickets. I am very very sure that day is not far when she will ask PK who has paid for my parents visa & tickets!!

Some days I just let it go thinking she is concerned. Some days I think maybe she is curious to know about all detailed changes in me hence she asks questions to his son. But some days I get extremely annoyed, I feel like –

1) They are not talking to me, they dint even congratulated me on baby’s news, they dont even want to solve any issues then what are they trying to prove by asking PK all these questions about me??

2) Or they are trying to show me that see even though you are not talking to us, our son is talking with us and he will give all your information to us, whatever we ask him and that too in front of you!! We dont care about you, we only want our son to talk with us and keep giving us all updates about your lives.

3) Sometimes I feel like screaming to PK while he is still on phone that No need to give all information about me to them. I dont know.. sometimes I can ignore them, sometimes I just cannot 😦

The other day also, FIL called PK and said – they need some sign from India house owner’s wife on some documents and since TP is not here, Is it ok if I or your Mummy sign the documents instead of TP as second owner of the house? PK said yes to him as we had no other option. FIL said – Ask TP if she is okay with it. PK replied – “ya ya we dont have any other option now, just sign it”. Usually I dont care about all this stuff, what difference will a sign make?? But for this one I was bit upset with PK. I would have not said no but at least he could have asked me just for the sake of asking and just to show his parents that unlike them he do care for me and that he treats me as equally important as his parents.

I feel like in his parents eyes, PK & I are not one, we are not a team. His parents think and act like PK is more concerned about them and he doesn’t cares as much for me. And that saddens me a lot 😦

Feeling bit lighter typing this out.

PS: I know I am far behind other bloggers in blogathon, I will try and catch up with the posts this weekend. Hopefully.

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7 Responses to Day 5 – PK & I are not one!!

  1. amitasingh10 says:

    Hi TP
    Its good you feel a bit lighter after posting on your blog. I know I will sound redundant but please let everything go. Nothing matters as this point but you and your baby, Health is very important. Do bother about these things. In cheezon par dhyan dene ke liye poori umar padi hai. Yeh issues toh wahin ke wahin hi raheinge. It’s probably your pregnancy hormones talking.

    It is quite possible your in-laws want to feel connected to the baby. That’s why they inquire. Please relax and take it easy.

    I am sorry but my comment is too preachy… those old amma types…. 😦

  2. Deepika says:

    Hey TP! Honey.. I don’t know what to comment about the IL’s … may be they are really concerned.. but in any case.. you need to take care of yourself and be happy.. As difficult as it is for you, think about PK! He doesn’t have an option… everybody is happy about a baby coming… maybe they really are happy and worried about you.. Please take care 🙂 Stay happy and blessed always

  3. Deboshree says:

    The weird beliefs that people have about pregnancy!
    You go ahead and enjoy the time to the fullest. Don’t stress and think too much, especially about things that probably cannot be changed. Hugs!

  4. Girl, you are supposed to enjoy this journey. I know it must be tough for you to manage all of this.
    But still, you need to ignore all of this stuff or make yourselves so busy that you couldn’t even think about this stuff.
    Eat all the good stuff that you are craving for, talk to all those people who make you feel good and happy. You might want to share such happy feelings with your little one. So, try not to be sad and fill your heart with happiness and joy. Think about all the good that’s happening.
    I know, its easy to speak this way and difficult to follow. But I want to you try.
    Hope you are having an easy day. 🙂 Take care TP. 🙂

  5. Bikramjit says:

    Hey calm down it will a be fine.. I don’t know why to say because it’s not my place to say anything. . This is family business. . If you know what I mean
    But I would like to say one thing don’t be angry or have bad feelings in heart. . Life is short.. so if they don’t then maybe you can..

    Sorry if I said anything wrong.. but we spend so much time on being angry and not on good terms whereas we can spend much happier times otherwise..

    Take care and god bless

  6. Just be yourself, which you are. I guess, some attitudes cannot be changed and hang on, lady to your beliefs.

  7. I think you should not stress out.
    Be happy, concentrate on your baby and nothing else.

    I understand that your equation with your in laws is not good. But the thought of having grandchildren makes them melt. So even if they are not talking to you, they do care for you. and for them it’s their son’s baby, so it is normal for them to get excited and ask for every little detail.

    I think this the best time you can try and make your relationship with them work. Involve them, it will make them happy. Believe me, it takes a village to raise a child. The mental support that you get from all the elderly people will definitely help you. Once you are a mother you will know how PK’s mom feels for him and all her love for her son.

    don’t be judgmental, try and mend things with them. You will be a different person once you are a mom. You become more patient. your perception changes, you start to let go things, forgive people easily.

    Be happy and keep smiling.

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