Before my sister’s wedding, I was scared, I was worried for her as she means more than world to me. In fact I will shamelessly accept that during her wedding, I kept checking how her husband and in-laws are treating her. I wanted to be very sure she is safe & happy with her new family so that when I fly back to Sydney I don’t spend sleepless nights worrying about her. If you have a little sister you will totally understand me. Also, as you all know I am not blessed with best of in-laws family that was one more reason of my concern with my sister’s in-laws family.
On 25th January, I wished my sister for her first month wedding anniversary & she replied – “Oh it’s been a month only?? It feels like I have been living here since years.” In my heart, I thanked God million times when I heard her reply. This is what I wanted for her, she should not feel like an outsider in the family. I have experienced being an outsider for almost 5 years & it is VERY uncomfortable. She has no pressure, no judgmental eyes on her 24 hours a day, she can be herself which is the most important thing.
She is never scared of her in-laws unlike me. The other day when I was on skype with her, her MIL came in her room & still my sister was in same position, lying in the bed with one leg on another knee and continued the chat. I was scared to talk with my sister with her MIL sitting next to her but my sister was just so comfortable. Some of you will say, why I was scared?? Why I am making a big deal of it?? Because I have never experienced this myself.
With me, I cannot talk to my parents in front of my MIL. I cannot just relax & lie down in bed in front of her, this will make her super upset. Because I have “Khaunf” of my MIL, I thought it will be same with my sister as she is still new in the family. I thought maybe her MIL is also controlling & bossy. Yes I had such cheap thinking in my mind. But when I saw all this with my eyes, believe it or not, I was sooo happy. This was so new for me. I was over-excited to see this scene & then PK had to bring me back to my senses by saying that what I saw is normal. That is the way it should be. Just because I have not experienced all this does not means its not normal. He was so true.
When she wakes up early in the morning, by early I mean 7.30 – 8.00 AM, her MIL sends her in bedroom again to sleep & relax some more. My MIL knocks our door if we are not up & ready by 8.00 AM!! Even if we are staying there just for one night, she will knock without forgetting!!!
When she goes in kitchen to help her MIL, her MIL gives her a bowl of face-pack or homemade scrub and tells her to pamper herself, have relaxing bath and take a break from kitchen, she will prepare that meal. When I hear all this, I think like – really?? Such MILs exist in this world??
When AK (sister’s husband) is having day off, his parents leave home early in the morning to the temple & shopping, so that sister & AK can have lazy morning & have some private time. After they come back, my sister & AK are ready to go out & have fun. Isn’t it a cool idea to give some private time to everyone? With me & PK, forget about going out together if we are in India, we cannot even sit next to each other even if it in the auto-rickshaw!!
Her MIL asks them to sit and eat together and brings hot chapattis from kitchen for them. If PK & I eat in same plate, my MIL snatches away that plate & gives us separate plates to eat, forget about bringing hot chapattis for us!!! I know.. I know.. Just because I have not experienced all this does not means its not normal.
Her FIL is a gem of a person with so down to earth nature. My sister says she loves it when her FIL comes to the kitchen asking her what she is cooking as the smell of food is making him hungry. While returning from his morning walks, he texts her to ask if she needs any ingredient for today’s menu or if she would like to have coconut water after breakfast that he can buy for her. When he travels, he buys same gifts for my sister & his daughters as well. Our Dad is exactly the same. Oh & let me tell you, if my FIL will come to kitchen praising me, my MIL will make such an issue later that my FIL will stop drinking water if it is served by me 😀
Her SIL is more like a friend of hers, they both go out for evening pani-puri sessions, they both cook together in kitchen & share the recipes, visit the salons together, give each other surprises, doesn’t it sounds like so much fun. Its like having a friend with you 24 hours.
Few weeks ago, her in-laws went out-of station. AK, my Sister and her SIL were alone at home. My sister said they had best of their times. Cooking un-healthy food, going out for dinners, watching late night movies, blasting music & dancing till the uncle-aunty from downstairs complain of their noise, sometimes having serious conversations – all this to me sounds like what we used to do at home. I can never imagine doing all this at my in-laws place.
So.. Touchwood, touchwood, touchwood, sister is very happy with her new family & enjoying her married life. Her in-laws are literally (I mean it) treating her as their own daughter and for her husband she is “A Queen” In turn, my sister also treats them as she treats her own family. If there is an effort from both sides then the base of new relationships is very strong which I think is very important since you are going to spend rest of your life with each other. Also, I think because her MIL has 2 daughters, one married & one not, she understands my sister very well, she doesn’t judge my sister on any of her actions. I always think if my in-laws had one daughter maybe our situation would have been different. I know it’s unfair to compare but I am human, can’t control my mind about what it thinks.
After reading this long post I know, you all will say TP is going mad over very normal stuff, if her in-laws are not cool that does not mean all in-laws are like that. Yes my friend, you are right.
I am glad my sister has got gem of a family and may she always be blessed with good people & happiness around her.
PS: I re-read the post & it looks all jumbled up, sorry 😦