“So-called-Men” of my country..

GP advised me to see the specialist just to take the second opinion on my ultrasound results. GP said that I have fatty liver tissues which often happen because of eating unhealthy food. Apart from that I have PCOS.. I have to start working out & eat healthy to cure this. Working out – haven’t started yet, packing up the boxes itself is a work out for 2-3 weeks now until we move. Have started eating salads & soups for lunch. I am avoiding eating anything with cheese like pizza, pasta, burgers etc..

Well..This is not why I started writing this post. I have to tell you about this specialist. He is from Delhi. From his name itself PK & I were guessing that this name sounds like a Chaalu-type guy. PK had to attend some important meeting in his office, so I decided to see the doctor alone. Although PK was feeling very bad, he was willing to be with me I forced him saying I will be able to manage alone, I just have to take second opinion of this doctor. Not a big deal.

After waiting for 10-15 minutes, doctor called me. He was being over polite, asking details like which part of India I am from & all that. He asked me to lie down for checking. I was bit confused as my GP has never checked me like this but still I lied down after taking out my overcoat as it is very thick and bulky.  I was still wearing my cardigan. I was pretty sure that if I will feel uncomfortable I will just leave his cabin right away. These were instructions by PK as well.

He checked my stomach area, I felt that his touch was normal but still because I was scared I was holding my breath and because of that I was pushing my stomach inside. He giggled because of that & I noticed it. As soon as he was done checking, he suddenly pulled the collar of my top, my tank top I was wearing inside & started peeking inside. I was so scared that I just pushed him & I jumped from the bed quickly. He started laughing & said I have liver spots on my neck-chest area!! I was mute at this time. My brain was blank, I couldn’t think anything. He asked me few questions like what I cook for meals & all that. Because I was shivering, I couldn’t speak properly. He asked me to do another blood test yet again and see him again next Wednesday. Believe me I was gathering all my strength to ask him what spots he was talking about?? I don’t have any spots on my neck area. How dare he touch my top? But I was so blank & so shocked I just left his cabin & went to do blood test.

Even while typing all this my heart is beating so fast, I am shivering again but I have made up my mind now. Next week, I am going to see him again NOT to check my blood tests results but to ask him HOW DARE HE TOUCH MY TOP WITHOUT EVEN ASKING MY PERMISSION???? WHAT SPOTS HE IS TALKING ABOUT?? I WANT HIM TO SHOW THOSE TO ME AGAIN.. I AM GOING TO CHECK WITH MY GP AS WELL IS THAT THE RIGHT WAY TO CHECK ANY PATIENT??

I am fuming inside.. Why I couldn’t do anything.. I am angry on myself.. I should have confronted him on the spot.. why I behaved like a coward!! Shii.. I was staring at every guy passing by next to me with red eyes.. All guys seemed like hungry pigs to me..Even the gentle touch of a 40 years old colleague (lady) on my shoulders was making me uncomfortable yesterday.. Every time I went to washroom I kept looking at my neck area.. feeling guilty.. feeling being used by someone for his entertainment..

For sure I will tell this Doctor that guys like you only ruin the name our country..  Not only these bastards take advantage of girls in India but they don’t leave any opportunity here in foreign land as well.. Is there any country where Indian girls could feel safe from Indian “so-called-men”??? What do these scoundrels get just by pulling a collar top & peeking inside?? Do they do like this to their Mum & sisters also every day??  Or their Dad’s do this to their Mum & sisters & daughters?? Or maybe when they get chance Dad & son duo entertain each other??

I feel sorry for myself to be born in this country..  I am ashamed of the men in my country..I know not all men are like this but many are..

For sure I am going to name & shame this doctor next Wednesday..

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32 Responses to “So-called-Men” of my country..

  1. Jazz says:

    What the helll…. This is too much.. I’m feeling so so angry.. Did you tell it all to PK.. And don’t at all feel guilty that you did not talk back then, we all feel scared at that moment.. But do give it back well next time.. And don’t miss to tell whatever you wrote here.. about how pathetic he is and how shameful it feels to be from the same country.. do question him and tell everyone and also write reviews about him on sites and also complain about him if you can…

    • As soon as I walked out of the medical centre, I called PK & told him everything..
      YES.. for sure I am going to tell him everything right on his face, will come out & say this to all other patients as well who will be waiting to see him..

  2. chipmunk says:

    go with PK that will work out pretty well! why fuming just check whether he behaves the same way this time when PK is around, if not tell him in a sarcastic tone why sir today you didn’t check the spots and then start fuming!!!! by this you will come to know what that idiot is upto!!! stupids!! I understand how hard and disgusting to see suchaa work! lazy goose and he is too too sick than that of half rotten dead body!!! relax bby! I know its hard to digest but still let it go till the next week comes!!

  3. You could make a complaint about him to the medical board or even to the police you know. Unlike in India, they will actually take things seriously here. One of my colleagues who arrived from India last year had similar harassment issues from an Indian driving instructor here. She had to get her license and he would keep passing sexual comments and innuendos. We told her she should have reported him but she was too scared. These men will only learn once they face consequences for their actions. I have avoided Indian doctors here…not for the reason you mentioned but also because I just don’t trust them {this even though my dad is a respected doctor back in India!} I made it a point to find a medical centre that had no Indian doctors at all! My regular GP is a woman {more comfortable with one for pap smears and the like…} but on occasion I’ve seen other male doctors at the practice and they have all been respectful…

    Do make a complaint if you can. I know it can be scary!

    • yes.. I am making complaint for sure.. will first talk with him face to face tomorrow ..
      scary part is these people know all our details like name, age, address.. these people can go to any extent to take revenge..

  4. Smitha R says:

    I totally understand your situation and been there many times. Especially in the Xray and ECG rooms. Once there was an idiot who was from my own native , he touched me all over the top in the pretext of taking the right Xray. And I was so confused that I couldnt speak out.
    Another time , there was an idiot who would come to peep when they were removing my urine tubes after a major surgery. I was half asleep , so assumed that it was my imagination then . It was not , he proved it later .
    I ve been through very decent gentlemanly doctors too, those who are so good .
    I guess one of the problems here is that , we do not complain. Also , there guys do not grope girls whom they think will confront and beat them up. My sister , for instance , she questions them if she has a slight doubt .. and they leave her alone. I , on the other hand, I try to think that I am imagining and that they are doing their work and am misunderstanding… they take advantage of us.

  5. Smita says:

    I feel you shouldn’t wait for wednesday to confront him. Go today evening with PK. Lodge an official complaint against him. Don’t take this lying down. You are not in India your vocie will be heard there. Trust me. Don’t let your anger go down! Go today!

    • Yep.. I went on Friday but he doesnt works any other day than Wednesday!!
      will lodge the complaint Smita but will still confront him tomorrow..have to talk with him face to face to let my anger out on him!!

  6. sahasra says:

    First thing, Never blame yourselves for what had happened. It is that person who behaved wrong, You were in a state of shock to respond in the right way. It is normal to be shocked when people in respectable positions behave that way. It is that person who should be guilty of his deed. But if you ever get a chance to meet him again, never let it go. Face him, face your fear. Demand an explanation for what he did. Ask him in the eye. He should be ashamed of what he did.
    I know what it feels like to be taken advantage of. I know how that pain is.That happened to me when i was a kid. It took me a while to stop blaming myself and to move on. Even this day, i remember that person and if i get a chance to meet him, i would definitely confront him.
    Sorry, that you had to face one such person. Stay strong girl.

  7. Kalyani says:

    We are women, and trying to escape to a safe place is the basic instinct. Even if I had a gun, I will first try to leave the place and then shoot the gun at him from the safe place. So, do not feel guilty.

  8. Carvaka says:

    That sucks. I would make a formal harassment complaint to his practise. Such people need to know there are consequences for their actions!

  9. aarya says:

    Oh my God!! and I thought such perverts were restricted to India only. Shame on such men, yaar. Hugs to you TPL. I can understand what you went through. Every girl can. At least every Indian girl can relate to such incident. And the worst part is that we feel embarrassed and ashamed of what these dirt bags do. You should definitely go back and teach this guy a lesson. How dare he took such liberty with you. He is an a**. Taking advantage of you like that in the name of such noble profession. Educated. Settled in foreign land. but same crass mentality. I wish I was there with you to kick his balls.
    Go with PK and confront this jerk. And definitely let know people around you and spread the word.

  10. I am shocked to hear such incident, I have had men doctors and if they want to look or touch any part of your body he needs to get your consent. You should react next time you meet.

  11. greenboochi says:

    This is total absurd. Whats wrong with that stupid doctor???? I am fuming reading this post.. and how could he giggle all the way doing this to you. Thought he could just do a silly thing and get away with it. How wrong of him to do this!!!

    Hugs TPPL. Dont feel guilty yourself. In the tensed, scared moment you didnt know how to react. I have done this myself several times and have felt so bad for letting some idiot take advantage of me. When you go on fwednesday, go with PK and confront him with what he called as his “so-called-checkup” It should be a total face palm moment for him. He shouldnt dare do this to any other woman.

    Take care.

  12. Kalyani says:

    I’ve just been to a doc to check on a minor rash. The lady doctor, before doing anything, asked me can I have a peek at it. You should sue that fellow.

  13. My Era says:

    *Hugs Sweetie*
    I am very upset and angry reading about your experience.

    I couldn’t resist Googling right away and came up with this link >> http://www.mcnsw.org.au/page/298/about-us/frequently-asked-questions/faqs-general/faq–how-do-i-make-a-complaint-against-a-doctor-/

    In Australia The Medical Council is pretty strict about the code of conduct being practiced & if you wish you can actually lodge a complaint about the doctor without confronting him, for the Medical Council to take care of the rest.

    Take Care dear.

  14. What happened when you met him with PK? Or wait you are yet to meet him. Anyway I was so furious post reading this. You ought to take action, its okay if you did not the first time you met, we all get nervous specially when we are alone. But now you ought to. Also you can atleast share your experience online on those reference/feedback/rating forums of doctors.

    Take care girl. Take action, but don’t let it stuck in your head. These kind of experience might get bad to get rid of.

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