This new guy in our office who has joined recently in the management team was not replying to my email since a month. Apparently he wanted me to book his travel but he was not replying to my mail in which I had asked him which flights he will prefer to fly in.
And the day before he was going to fly, he came to my desk and just told me these & these flights are OK. I saw the rates of the flights had gone up triple the amount and the flights were freaking expensive. My manager than told me to write a email, copy her & our MD and tell him that we are paying triple the amount than we usually pay for other staff. I did that calmly as I knew my manager was supporting me.
But as soon as I clicked “Send” button, the fearful thoughts started entering my mind – What if he will shout on me or scolds me on writing him that type of mail & copying MD & managers?? What if he thinks I am being rude?? What if he is hurt?? What if he gives me hard time and takes revenge for writing that email??
As soon as I walked out of my room, his desk was nearby & he thanked me for sending his itinerary, and he spoke very politely but I, I was scared. I was so scared that I quickly ran back into my room to my team mates.
I really don’t know why?? I knew my manager & MD were supporting me, I have done nothing wrong and I should not be worried about that guy but I was scared of hurting him!! I told this to PK after we returned home and we discussed a lot on this.
I know whatever he was saying & explaining to me is true. I SHOULD NOT BE CONCERNED TOO MUCH if I have not done anything wrong, I should not be scared. But this damn guilty feeling does not goes away at all. I know I have this serious issue.
Not sure if you guys have read the comments on my last post, first time I was facing some harsh comments. I was feeling the same that I have hurt someone and am I really being unfair?? Am I really giving hard time to PK?? Am I really being rude and mean?? Am I really a spoiled brat of rich parents??
I know, I am doing nothing wrong. PK told me that I keep worrying that I should not hurt others but what about if others can come and hurt me?? Still I want to make them happy. Still I want to take the blame on me for hurting someone’s feelings even though I know I was not wrong.
I know that not everyone will agree on your viewpoints, not everyone will support you, I know half of the people will not be on my side but rather than thinking about that half of people, I should think about another half those are with me, those who make me happy, those who are more important in my life, those who love me as a person I am.
All said but everyone’s opinion, comments and feedback is welcomed on this blog. Although rude and harsh comments upset me but these comments will make me stronger person and i will know how to deal with these without getting hurt.
I HAVE TO BUILD MY CONFIDENCE. I DON’T WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE AS A DARPOK – COWARD.
I HAVE TO LEARN TO TAKE STAND ON WHATEVER ACTION I TAKE, WHATEVER I DO..
I WILL TAKE ANY STEP OR ANY ACTION, ANY THING I TALK ABOUT AFTER THINKING TWICE.
BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I WILL CHANGE MYSELF. I WILL LEARN TO BE POLITE AND AT THE SAME TIME WILL PUT MY POINT OF VIEW IN FRONT OF OTHER PERSON WITHOUT HURTING HIM, AFTER ALL EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION AND SO AM I.
LOVE IS THE BIGGEST THING I CAN GIVE TO ANYONE. I WILL FORGIVE PEOPLE BUT FORGIVENESS DOES NOT MEAN BEING A DOORMAT. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THE POSITION WHERE PEOPLE CAN COME AND HURT YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
I am writing this just so that whenever again I feel low or less confident, I will come back & read this post.