So, a few days back we asked BIL to start looking for his own place, either alone or with friends however he likes. Actually PK spoke to him, giving him reasons like our new house will be very far for him, train station is also very far and since he cannot drive here, it will be very difficult for him so it’s better he finds his place now and get settled. Actually before saying this, PK had confronted BIL regarding his lies about going for shopping when we are asleep and all that. BIL was shocked to know that we know everything that BIL, MIL & FIL were hiding from us.
BIL kept giving reasons like he will start driving by the time house is built or he will find some or other public transport in that area and all that. So, basically telling us indirectly that he will find his ways to travel but will not move out.
I saw neither PK was coming to the point and nor BIL was understanding what we are saying or behaving like that that he is not getting what we are trying to say. So I had to jump in, I said to BIL that we now need our privacy and that we have fulfilled our responsibility of supporting him during his studies and when he was new in this country. We need some space now and he is matured enough to understand that we have spent our 2 years of life (after wedding) in supporting him and all that. PK also supported me.
Now the thing is from that day BIL is behaving extra nice to us. When we are at work, he cleans the kitchen, does the dishes, does the vacuuming and sometimes if he is at home alone he tries to cook something (which does not taste good but at least he is making efforts!!). Even I have noticed from past few days, when PK & I are sitting in living room, watching TV or relaxing, BIL is in his room with his laptop and tries to give us “that” space.
Previously the scene was totally different. He used to carry his laptop, books and stuff and used to sit next to PK all the time. I used to get uncomfortable that I cannot relax here properly and neither can I can talk to PK openly. I used to get up and go in my room so that I can relax after long day at office & then cooking dinner for us.
PK has also noticed all these changes, PK keeps asking “Do you think BIL is behaving in more matured way now?? He is taking responsibilities and giving us space as well.”
Well, I don’t know what to reply!! If I will say yes, then PK & BIL might both change their minds and BIL will end up living with us, which is very uncomfortable for me. If I will say No, I myself feel guilty that I am lying to PK and I am not appreciating BIL’s efforts.
I asked PK to ask BIL after few days if he has started looking for his place to stay. BIL replied that he is thinking of asking his group of friends for room sharing.
It has been a month now and I know BIL has not even started any house hunting and I know deep in his heart he does not wants to move out and that’s what he is showing in his actions.
Today, I texted BIL from office that if he wants a colleague of mine is moving out next week and he can pass on the place to him. BIL replied that he does not have any friend to move in that place, he does not wants to pay the rent alone and he is looking for room sharing where he can move in with his friends.
I don’t know now what to do. Our house will be almost done when we will return from India, if BIL will not find place till then, he will move in with us. I know if we will say NO to him at that time we will have to hear things like “Big brother is well settled and younger one is not yet settled properly, still big bro did not took poor young brother to their new house instead they asked him to move out!!” and all that 😦
But I am determined, after every few days I will keep asking him if he has found anything yet or not, no other option!!