Fear..

Ok.. I had this in my drafts since many days & now I am bit Ok about these fears.. PK said that NASA has officially announced that world is not going to end in December. Also, I was in “fear” phase when I wrote all this 😦

I am scared of many things but I never had fear of dying. Since many days I am struggling to fight with that fear. First when I heard of Jiju’s sudden death at very young age, I got so scared. I have started being with PK whenever we are at home, I just cannot leave him, I want to feel his touch constantly. Even at nights, I cannot leave him. I wake up in middle of night to see that PK is with me. I sometimes scream in middle of night in my sleep. Not only me even PK is also more worried for me & keeps checking frequently if I am Ok in the office or not, if I reached safely, which train I am returning in, is it very crowded?? Like we both learned a lesson not to take each other for granted, we don’t know what will happen tomorrow.

Yesterday, in the food court, PK went to buy food & I was waiting for him at the sitting area. Suddenly, fire alarm started beeping & it was so loud, I got scared. First thing in my mind was to find where PK is so that if everyone starts running I know where I have to go. Then, I kept looking here & there if people are running but everyone was calm & eating their food. Third thing that came to my mind was if people will run, I will call my Mom & inform her that our life is in danger & if we don’t call after an hour or so, she should call me to check if we are OK. After a minute or so alarm went off, still my mind was full of thoughts, PK was laughing so hard when I told him what all was going in my mind in that one minute. I was too scared to die in foreign land without even meeting my family once.

Few days back, PK & I were talking about how people are saying that the world will really end on 21st December. I really do not believe in all this. While chatting PK told me he heard on radio that Nostradamus has predicted in code language that war will start from Korea like dancing on the horse with 9 zeros(which means when Gangnam style song will complete 1000000000 views on youtube).. Something like that.. I don’t know if he was just teasing me or if it is true or not.. I did not paid any attention to that, I just laughed it off. Β Then again he said yesterday that US has given some warning to South Korea to not to launch a rocket in December otherwise it will be bad for them. Β I am really not into all these things so cannot explain properly but now after hearing all this I am SCARED.

I don’t want to die in foreign land, I want to die in India after I spend some time with my family & friends. There are many things I have to do before dying. But then I feel like, I know the world is not going to end, people keep saying things. I know PK is teasing me saying that they will launch a ultrasound missile, people will die on the spot with dangerous gases & poisonous rays. Β If anything will happen it will happen to all of us together. But then fear of being separated from my family scares me to death.. Β I even told PK that I am not going to office on 21st & will not let PK also go anywhere. Β I know it sounds so kiddish but what to do?? 😦

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15 Responses to Fear..

  1. sjscribbles says:

    LOL on the Gangnam style song hitting viewership and the world ending ! PK has an excellent sense of humor and creativity combined ! Hold your breath – TPL ! We have 17 days more to go…ROFLOL !

  2. chipmunk says:

    kiddo you are πŸ™‚ never fear for dying, relax and accept the way life comes πŸ™‚ definitely world wont collapse by 21/12, so cook and eat very well on that day πŸ™‚ I accept your thoughts but be happy till the last breath πŸ™‚

  3. Death is the only constant in life. I understand your fear but it’s something you have no control over. It sounds like the fear has really taken over your life if you are planning on not going to work on the 21st and not allowing PK to do so either. I would recommend seeing a psychologist…because it really does sound like the fear is interfering in your life. We all have anxieties and fears (me included) but it’s when it stops us from living our lives that it really becomes a problem.

    • The day when I wrote this post, I was really scared.. As I wrote I am ok now & also the fear is only because I want to see my family before dying.. I am not scared of death if it comes after I see my family πŸ™‚

      I am missing them because it is the first time I am away from them for more than a year

      That was only a phase, its not interfering in my daily life now πŸ™‚ In fact, I have booked surprise holidays for PK for which we are flying on 21st itself πŸ™‚

  4. Sujatha says:

    At times i too have such fears.. when my son was born I have woken up number of times during the night to check if he s breathing.. i was so afraid to handle him…
    Its just a phase dear.. u ll come out of it soon… dont worry…

  5. Jazz says:

    Aww its ok dear, and I like PKs sense of humour. πŸ™‚

  6. I believe we should be ready to die any minute as that is the nature of human life.but when 2012 movie was out a while ago, I told my husband I want to be in Nepal on 21 12 2012 and funny enough we will be in Nepal then πŸ™‚
    I am sure nothing will happen then so take it easy and enjoy your day off. Take care dear.

  7. Aaanu :) says:

    I too have the same fear as yours. What if the whole world collapses on Dec 21.
    One of my friends bday falls on this date and have planned to celebrate it in beach side restaurant. After hearing this idea i panicked (beach side – oh no we will die instantly with large waves engulfing us and y cant u guys leave me in home , i could be with my family atleast while it happens) and said my thoughts about world ending and they laughed and assured me that they will take me over there to show me nothing bad will happen (what kind of crazy friend i have duh)
    Oops i am sorry for not consoling about ur fears and letting mine over you 😦
    We will hope nothing will happen and we all will see 2013 πŸ™‚

    • yeah don’t worry Aaanu, I am sure nothing will happen, the fear just shows how much we love our loved & near ones πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

      You enjoy the birthday party near beach & I will enjoy my holidays near beach lol

  8. Pingback: Rambling… | tandooripanipurilife

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