Please let us sleep!!

The bed that we bought for the in-laws, was actually bought by BIL. Yes, he paid because it was to be kept in BIL’s room, after the in-laws will leave, BIL will be the one who will use it. And if he has to move out, he can take that bed along with him. As BIL is totally dependent on PK, he asked PK to accompany him to buy bed. We went & selected the bed & confirmed delivery for Saturday morning.

BIL started to stress out, he cannot even take that stress that he has to wake up early to take the bed delivery which was expected between 7.00 am to 8.30 am in morning. As soon as BIL received the call at 7.00 am from delivery guy, he started panicking, he went down stairs, showed them the way to our unit. Now imagine, with 3 delivery guys, carrying the bed & mattress, BIL had nothing to do except to open the door. That also he was not able to do without PK’s help. He called PK (who was in deep sleep) just to ask him to OPEN THE DOOR even though BIL had door keys with him!!!

PK was so tired due to his hectic work week, he was not able to open his eyes and answer the call and so he missed BIL’s call. Later, after 15 minutes PK went out and asked BIL why he called?? BIL replied “to ask you to open the door”!!!

I was like what the hell!!! You had the keys, you were not the one who has to carry bed upstairs, then why would you disturb someone who is sleeping?? You cannot even do that without PK?? he cannot see his brother sleeping?? Is it normal or I am over reacting??


We had already told BIL that we will be going for shopping for some stuff that is necessary to buy before the parents come. He does not wanted us to go, he wanted us to stay at home & help him in assembling the bed.  So he started rambling that he has to go to university to do group studies & only for this subject group study was important & all that. We told him that he does not have to assemble the bed that day itself, we still have a week to do that. But BIL being BIL, he wanted his work to be finished first & so he skipped his university & started assembling the bed just to make us feel guilty that he missed his class for the bed!! He was expecting us to change our plans & help him at home.

PK went to help him for a while with which I was OK, but they both got so busy that PK did not realised the time and it was 12.30 already. Shops here close at 5.00 pm. If we get ready & reach the shopping mall, it will be 2.00 pm by the time. I was really mad at PK. Why such selfishness BIL to get your work done first? PK & I went for shopping after a small fight. Is it normal to be selfish or I am over reacting??


At night, when we were sleeping, BIL started cleaning his room carpet with vacuum cleaner, you know how much noisy it is & at night when all are sleeping & it is quiet it becomes more loud. We usually don’t vacuum our carpet when BIL is sleeping even during the day time in weekend. We wait for him to wake up & then we do the cleaning. But why BIL don’t have same courtesy for us??

Previously also, I have told him not to open and close Microwave door for thousand times when we are sleeping. He stopped doing that but stared busting his bedroom door or main door when he is going for his night shift while we are sleeping. It is disturbing to hear Dhadaam – Dhaam – Dum while sleeping or I am over reacting here as well??


Yesterday night at 10.00 pm, when we are in deep sleep after tiring weekend & tiring day at office, BIL is texting PK – “Can I eat the rice or they are for your tomorrow’s lunch?? PK replied – You may eat!! I, in anger, sent the text to BIL – “FYI-We are sleeping!!”

1 – I always cook dinner for BIL. Why this drama BIL??? Was BIL trying to say that I have not cooked his dinner, even though I have cooked for him?

2 – There was enough rice in the pan, if he was worried about our next day’s lunch, he could have gone ahead and cooked some rice for himself, what’s a big deal in that??

3 – He did ate had the dinner, I cooked another batch of rice for today’s lunch.

4 – Was BIL thinking that PK will reply to BIL’s text – “NO, don’t eat that rice, they are for tomorrow’s lunch?”

5 – Is he trying to create some problems before MIL comes here, so that he can complain??

6 – Isn’t it a basic courtesy & basic manner that when someone is sleeping we should not disturb??

7 – What kind of satisfaction he derives by disturbing PK’s sleep sometimes by texting & sometimes by calling or sometimes by banging doors??

8 – Does he think PK is 24×7 service available for him? PK cannot even take rest?? Why is BIL so so dependent on PK??

These all are just Saturday to Monday incidents, cannot explain how week days are!!  Leave us alone BIL, please let your brother sleep!!

MIL, PIL, BIL want PK to help them financially, they don’t want to take any stress, any stress they are in, will be passed on to PK, PK will not be allowed to rest properly. Is this what they think about PK? PK does everything for them but if he tries to explain BIL to be independent, BIL can back answer PK rudely.

Tell me if I am over reacting on everything??


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27 Responses to Please let us sleep!!

  1. chipmunk says:

    NOT AT ALL. After all he is a guy. can’t the bil do his own chores! he is a vampire or what, go around the city during the morning time and work at night, you must say, you dust it when u clean carpet! I will tell you seriously he will suffer when he marries! yes seriously, A girl will pester her like anything! its so weird being a guy and he is dependent on another person, better sit and talk with him a day, do together, between what a person he is, can’t he eat without asking, or if it so concern about you two means, he must come and ask when u are cleaning the kitchen at the day end, you send him writing a list to grocery shop. let him suffer and learn! how your husband would have tackled things when he came all way alone from India. really bad of him.

    You get a door sticker and stick it, saying deep sleep pls do your work.there are certain BIL,MIL,PIL who doesn’t want the elder one to be happy and want to nag him all the time, I have a relative of this same type. The will suffer 😦 let the three month pass so fast for you. and what ever he irritates be patient, after 3 months once pil and mil goes we will fix him 🙂

    • he is a vampire or what – LOL LOL LOL!!!

      he will suffer when he marries – AGREE.. have told him already.. he does not even know that we don’t keep cheese in freezer!!!

      yep.. concerned for our lunch but not concerned for helping us.. you are right!!

      when we start cleaning, he picks up his bag & leaves so that he does not have to help!!

      have spoken to him many times but he back answers rudely!!

      yep.. exactly girl… I will send him to you, please fix him 😉 just kidding!!

      • chipmunk says:

        he he 😀 he will go mad if he handles me 🙂 🙂 you take your bag and go! you complain to his mama, you take chance before he does, you means ask PK to say. all have a limit reh, we may help him, tackle him, but if it keep on goes like this, it will be annoying :@ how dare he can be rude! he may be the last kid to his home, but not a king :@ for his behavior living in oz is 2,3,4 much 🙂 send him back to India 😡

      • Yep.. PK is eager to tell everything to MIL!!

  2. Jazz says:

    Sometimes some good people are taken advantage off, like it is happening with PK. I think he’ll eventually learn to say no, now he is just trying to maintain peace with BIL I guess because you say BIL even gets rude (which is very bad on his part), and PK being the elder is being polite.

    I’d say you and PK get proper rest and sleep, keep mobiles on silent or better switch it off, and if being polite is not helping, then it is clear BIL is not doing these unintentionally. Anyway I liked what you messaged him, I would have done the same, I’d have been sarcastic.

    • You know when I texted BIL.. PK did not saw that as he went back to sleep but I don’t know why I was feeling that I should not have done this & because of these thoughts I was not able to sleep whole night..

      In the morning, I told this to PK that I have texted BIl in anger.. he said its OK & that I was right..

      Now when you said that its Ok what I did I feel bit Ok..

      And I always say this to PK that in-laws & BIL are taking his advantage & taking him for granted 😦

      • Jazz says:

        Aww you did it after a series of such acts dear, don’t feel guilty at all. And it was just a simple message, you did not bring the roof down, right, and I believe you did not even show about it next day and were normal.

        I know about the last line, happens sometimes, maybe people like PK are too good and not able to say no and handle everything calmly, but every person has a limit, and when it disturbs them too much, they will be the first to speak up.

      • yep you said it right girl… hugs 🙂

  3. Jazz says:

    For the first issue of opening the door for the bed, maybe I would have gone instead of my hubby and taken keys from him and sarcastically taught him how to use it to open the door. Lol 😀

  4. OMG what a nightmare. I would have gone crazy with someone like him around me. Sometimes, Asian men are so spoiled by their mum that they think they can get away with the same attitude overseas as well. Don’t let me get away with what he does. He needs to learn his responsibility and be independent. You are not his mum nor his wife so you don’t need to put up with that. Good luck for coming months gal.

    • you said it right dear.. he is spoiled by his Mom..he never enters the kitchen and soe not takes any initiative to cook sometimes 😦

      since 2 years he is living with us..till now he should have learned to be responsible…

  5. No you are not over reacting at all, first of all you are allowing hi to stay with you and doing lot of things for him. Just relax and don’t give an opportunity for a fight..Hugs!!

  6. Sujatha says:

    Big hus to u girl !! U r really patient to handle such BIL.. Its better to talk this matter with ur in-laws. It wud b better if ur BIL goes out and lives on his own.

    • Hi Sujata..
      I and PK have decided that we will surely speak to MIL & FIL regarding this.. And you are right.. he should move out just to understand his responsibilities & to learn to be independent.. hugs back… 🙂

  7. meromusings says:

    Although it does look like your BIL is dependent on u and ur husband and he needs to learn his way to be independent as well. After all he is a grown up man and should learn his boundaries and manners. But, I think in my opinion you need to take a chill pill too. You don’t have to stress out so much and pay attention to such small details and feel whatever stress that you’re feeling. You should learn to let go and concentrate in bigger things in life. After all life is too precious and short to feel angry/sad/frustrated in such small matter. However I do agree that its easier said than done and it can be very difficult to share a house like that. I do wish you all the best and hope you find peace in your life :). Good luck 🙂

    • You are right.. these all are very small things & we should not pay attention to these details..

      But you can see that after all this, I have not even said a word to BIL, just texted him that too after series of same disturbing incidents!!! that too not for me but for PK’s rest because BIL is disturbing his sleep not only during weekends even during week days, even when BIL knows that PK is sleeping..

      Thanks for your wishes dear 🙂

      • meromusings says:

        Yes, I am not saying that u’re bickering with your BIL and u’re feeling all these coz you love ur husband :). Just let these thoughts go and ask your BIL to move out when the time is right. But I can also understand that you cannot ask him to move out right now. So, have patience until then and don’t stress too much.

      • yeah waiting for that right time 🙂

  8. Just turn your and pk’s phones off next time, when you go to bed .hopefully he won’t knock on your door. You and Pk are so tolerant…..both of you do so much for him… Hope you have fun when the inlaws visit you.

  9. Pingback: On sleep again… | tandooripanipurilife

  10. sjscribbles says:

    Hope you have a smooth time ahead – TTPL !
    In-laws will be inlaws – whatever !
    I have 3 SIL’s and added to that my Parents in laws…being the only DIL with three SIL’s is not easy too…SIL’s or BIL’s…Problems from them can never be escaped !
    Hugs to you dear – hope you manage your in-laws visit smoothly !

    • Yep.. my MOm says me the same thing.. what ever you do.. In-laws will be In-laws..

      Oh 3 SIls!!!! I can so understand… I many times say this to PK that lucky I don’t have any SIL but he teases me by saying that MIL does plays all roles for me be it SIL, BIL’s wife, a competitor or MIL herself.. must be hard for you huh… my Mom have 4 SILs too 😦

      Thanks a lot for hugs… hugs back at you.. I am so hoping to write all the fun things rather than the difficulties with in-laws when they will be here 🙂

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