About a month ago I wrote about my Didi who lost her husband. Things are still not going well in her life, she is still not settled, she is still not happy, she still cannot pass her single day without missing Jiju, without crying. It is unimaginable what she is going through.
I have only spoken to her twice after this incident, I don’t have guts to talk to her. I usually talk to my Mom & ask about Didi & her kids. T is the elder one of 14 years & D is the younger one of 8 years.
Sometimes Mom cannot even speak to me while telling me the incidents that are happening in Didi’s life now. It is very difficult situation.
For many days, the kids were OK, they were passing their time with the relatives & their kids and everyone’s attention was on them. After a month, when all relatives left, they started realizing the situation and started missing their Dad very much.
D, the younger one suddenly closed himself in the bathroom & cried & cried. After few days he went to the terrace & cried there for hours while everyone was looking for him in the society. I guess he was not able to express his feelings that he has now started missing his Dad & that is why he was doing this???
It was D’s birthday a few days ago. He asked Didi to buy chocolates for him for school celebrations, buy him new clothes & requested for his choice of cake when he will invite all his friends at home for small party. Now, the atmosphere at their home is not yet normal, party & celebrations are not on anyone’s mind. As soon as Didi said to him that they will celebrate next year. He started crying & their came elder one & shouted at him that how can he think of celebration when their Papa is no more.
Poor D, he cried and cried, hugged Didi, asking her to bring his papa back so that he can celebrate his birthday. Didi asked him, from where to bring his Papa back. He replied, “Does that mean we are never going to celebrate my birthday? I don’t know anything but I want my papa back.”
Elder one, T, has become very aggressive, he does not says anything, he does not cries but he expresses his feelings in the form of anger like shouting on his Mom & fighting with other kids in the family.
The shocks are endless for her. She was given white clothes to wear at her in-laws place but my Mom bought her some light shades of clothes like pink, purple, green, yellow & handbags as well. It is Ok if she wears white for few days or few weeks but to be colourless for the rest of her life, it is like punishment for her. She likes dressing up, wearing make-up, she likes celebrating festivals & birthdays.. Why to follow the customs which are not making her happy??
My Mom has invited Didi at our place in December, she has shown interested in doing some course to keep herself busy and to come out of this sad environment. I wish it would have been possible for me to go to India in December. I am glad that she is putting an effort to come out of sadness and live her life again.