September 2011 – MIL’s plan

I went to India in September 2011 to see my mom, she was not keeping well & also it had been a year since I met my family. This was my second trip to India after coming to Sydney. So, I got approval for 15 days of annual leave from my manager and off I went. Unfortunately PK was not able to accompany me. I was not happy to go alone but I had to see my family.

Anyways, so we informed my in-laws that I am coming to India to “see my Mom”.

MIL on phone: “N is coming to India? That’s great news. We were feeling so lonely here, there is no one to talk with us and at least we will get some time to spend with N. We will be there at airport to pick her up. Don’t worry PK, we will take care of N. We will go shopping with her & also we will take her to visit Dadi(MIL’s MIL – She is a sweetheart). Dadi & Dadaji are not well….” Emotional blackmail continued so that I don’t get enough time to spend at my Mom’s place.

OK. Fine!! I thought they are also parents so I decided that I will stay 2 days with them and they themselves will ask me to go at my Mom’s place as she is not well. Believe me, it was very very difficult to decide this. One – My mom was not well. Two – PK was not with me & Three – I did not want to stay with in-laws alone.

I reached Airport. MIL & PIL came to pick me up. I asked my Dad to not come to Ahmedabad Airport from Surat just to meet me. I told him to come to Baroda, at my in-laws place, after a day to take me to Surat.

I did not knew MIL had made a master-plan on how many days & where I will be staying. So, for next 2 days she somehow managed to make me stay with them. (No, I did not wanted to stay with them, I was waiting to go & see my Mom.) After 2 days, she said we will go to visit Dadi. I said Ok, I will ask my Dad to pick me up in evening from Dadi’s place. She said – “No, no, you are the elder bahu of our family, you have to stay at least a night with Dadi, she will be happy” After arguing with them, final decision was taken. Dadaji & Dadi are very old, not sure if I will be able to meet them next year, so to make them happy, I stayed overnight with them.

So, already my 5 days passed away in this & then I got to meet my Mom for whom I have traveled for hours, I was in tension for her health, I was dying to see her, every minute at MIL’s place & Dadi’s place was as much difficult for me as much it was for my Mom, she was waiting to see me, to meet me, she was waiting for my MIL’s permission to send me to Surat so that she can meet me. My Dad kept calling me every day to ask indirectly if my MIL said anything about when I will be able to go to Surat. My sisters & my brother, my bhaiyas (uncles) & bhabhis (aunties), my cousins, my grandfather, everyone was waiting for permission from my MIL. Even while writing this I am not able to stop my tears.

Are all MILs heartless? They don’t know that every child looks for his/her Mom even if they wake up from sleep. I had spent a whole year without seeing my Mom, she was sick, I was there to meet her, still the plan was made without even asking me where I want to stay??

MIL might have forgotten this but I still have that pain in my heart for which I will never forgive her.  Would she have been able to wait for 5 days to meet her sons, if she was sick, if PK & BIL would have come to India & still not able to meet her??

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