September 2011 – Bangles for MIL

Continued from last post….

So, I stayed with my Mom & my family for rest of the 10 days & told my in-laws I will be going to Ahmedabad Airport directly from Surat. They were expecting me to come to Baroda again and then they wanted to drop me to Airport. I told PK everything about MIL’s behaviour & he informed them that I will not be going to meet them again.

Now, here is why MIL got heart-ache after hearing this. MIL’s thoughts: “How I will know what N’s Mom & Dad are going to give her in “gifts”? How will I know how many rupees N has spent in shopping? How will I know if she bought any gifts for her family there in Surat? Oh, no!!! How will N return all her gold jewellery to me? Will she leave everything with her Mom or will she take everything with her to Sydney?”

She kept calling me every day to confirm where I will leave my gold jewellery. Where I went shopping in Surat & what I purchased from there? I know this was getting too much.

The day came very quickly when I have to return. I still remember the scene. I was sitting in lounge area crying my heart out, with tissues & water bottle in my hands and my Dad standing behind the glass door, unable to talk with me, unable to console me, unable to go back, unable to express the pain he was feeling while leaving me crying alone at airport and waving me to stop crying & take care of myself. With very heavy heart I returned to Sydney.

MIL asked me on phone what all I bought from Surat & what my parents gave me in gifts. I very casually told her few things not knowing of the earthquake I was going to face. I told her that my Dad had bought 2 pairs of diamond bangles for me from Jaipur along with some other things. She is hungry for gifts from my parents. You know.. Typical MILs..

Next day MIL called my Mom to ask how my Mom’s health is. She indirectly & very politely told my Mom that she needs those same bangles too. Now, my Mom being “a girls” Mom did not told me anything about this, she sent few sweets, dresses & diamond bangles to my MIL. Here, PIL wrote a casual email to PK (he writes a mail everyday to PK) in which he mentioned that they have received the bangles from my Dad. PK was not happy, he does not like to take gifts from my parents. I am glad he is not like his parents.

PK called his Mom and asked why she asked for bangles from my Mom. If she really wanted those she should have asked PK but should not have behaved like beggars. MIL got scared and lied that she had not demanded bangles from my Mom. Then, I called my Mom, she said yes MIL asked for bangles. So, now we were in confusion which Mom is telling lie to us?

Again we called MIL & she kept telling lie. I shouted on phone that my Mom is not a liar and that she wants gifts from my parents. Phone was on speaker. MIL said “Why is N shouting like this? Is she jealous because her Mom sent me same bangles as hers? PIL said “N is indirectly saying that I am not capable enough to buy bangles for my wife?”

WHAT??????? When did I said that??? Now slowly MIL said that I asked your Mom to buy me bangles & I will send money to them!!!! She accepted!!! Then the fight was so huge that PK told his parents that from now neither we will not call you nor you have to call us. Finish of phone conversation.

PK was very sad & unable to believe his parents have done this. For 3 days no conversation was made with in-laws. Here, I was feeling very bad that parents & son have stopped talking. I was not able to see this. I kept calling MIL until they answer the call. I told her that PK has not eaten anything & don’t talk to me but at least talk with their son etc. They agreed. I forced PK to speak with them.

I know everyone will say I am mad. I should not have forced them to talk with us but the reason I did was I remembered the pain I and my Mom went through when MIL was not allowing me to go meet my Mom. I thought MIL is a mom too she must be heart-broken. I did not wanted to take the blame of separating a Mom & her son.

Does that mean I have forgiven MIL? No, I can never ever forgive her. Who is she to tell that my Mom is a liar? How can she feel happiness when her plans of not letting me meet my Mom succeeds? I believe in God & I am sure God will teach her a lesson.

Conclusion of this incident was that after few days PIL sent a cheque to my Dad for bangles. My mom, dad, PK & I were not happy with this step. But we kept quiet, we all were not in mood of another drama.

After this MIL called my Mom, she cried & cried on phone, no.. no.. she did not apologised but she COMPLAINED. In MIL’s words – “My sons have never treated me like this. Only after marriage PK spoke to me like this. I have never ever back answered my MIL in 30 years, I don’t know why N back answers, she is bad-mouthed, she should know how to respect elders. N has lived in joint family, still she does not know the culture etc.”

I am proud to say that my Mom only replied that she knows her daughter and she trusts me that I will never misbehave with elders.

PK, I, Mom & Dad, we all know Mil complained on me but we did not said anything to her because we knew that this only to create more and more drama. Lastly I will say that how much ever efforts you do but a dog’s tail can never be straightened. (Sorry MIL)

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7 Responses to September 2011 – Bangles for MIL

  1. swatimital says:

    Blimey, reading this post is making me sick. What kind of woman is your mother-in-law and I am sorry for the nonsense you have to put up with. Surely, there are better things to do in this life than put up with this kind of drivel.

  2. Your MIL sounds like my paternal grandmother who gave my mother grief. She would also say things like “You made my son like this…” and stuff even though for almost 30 years of their marriage my dad never stood up to his mother. I hated my grandma and would get annoyed with my parents for not standing up to her. And the worst thing was she lived with us since I was 15…I escaped at 21 but the rest of the family were still stuck with her until she eventually died last year. Glad PK stands up for you!

    • tandooripanipurilife says:

      Oh I am so sorry to hear that 😦
      PK always says that if you don’t stand up from the beginning you cannot stand up later. I think same thing happened with your parents, I really feel sad when I hear that someone had to bear all this for years and years.
      Hope your grandma’s soul RIP.
      I hope your Mom & Dad are Ok now. Lots of positive vibes to them.
      I feel really blessed when PK stands up for me because if he would not have I would have literally torn apart & may be left PK & went back to my Mom 😦 It is very hard to cope up with MILs like these. Salute to your Mom 🙂

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  5. This very post makes me want to comment on it. I’m surprised ki aajkal bhi aisi MiLs mil jaati hain…. Salutes to the way you understood her motherly instincts, though.

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